Love & Life

The Joke’s on Me…and I’m Thankful for That!

Ok……right…listen up!!!

It’s about time we all got a little less serious about stuff.

I was in Portugal in November – with a large group of fine folks. Mostly American, and most of them old enough to be my parents. Nevertheless, they were kind,  funny, considerate and overall, not bad travelling compadres at all.

One man in particular, seemed to share the same sense of adventure as the man of the manor and I, and quite often insisted on accompanying us on our “Great Escapes” away from the bus - up and down the darker and stranger streets of Lisbon.

On many occasion, he would wear bright lime and yellow-coloured chest-hugging tee-shirts, occasionally bursting into loud renditions of “Dancing Queen” (but this was all A-Ok with me..as he also happened to have an uncanny knack of knowing where the best tapas were being served and where the sexiest Portugese waiters were on shift!)

One afternoon, as we were trundling down the main street, I caught sight of something from the corner of my eye, that stopped me in my tracks.

Sitting on the corner of the main drag in downtown Lisbon was a man (at least I thought it was a man) whose appearance I can barely bring myself to describe.

He was sitting and his head was swaying from side-to-side, not unlike very dedicated and medicated fans of Bob Marley.

Here is the thing…..

He had no face.

No face.

No eyes, mouth, nose. No discernible human features at all.

All he had, was a mass of moving and swaying bulbous pieces of flesh that somehow seemed to grow directly from his forehead…outwards…and more horrifically, downwards.

Downwards almost to his chest.

People who know me well, know that I am not shocked easily, but for about 28 seconds I was completely unable to move forward on that busy street in Lisbon.

My friend, himself quite lost for Abba Lyrics, led me away and we just wandered around for awhile, not quite sure what to think, or say.

We decided, after several stiff drinks, that it had to be a ruse. A sad, but very effective method of pan-handling.

After all, if what we saw was true… then this guy made the Elephant Man look like a serious contender for the centrefold for GQ magazine..and God was obviously far crueller than even I could have ever imagined.

It had to be a joke we decided, and went skipping off to the nearest hand-bag outlet (for him…not me…)

Fast forward 5 months.

I am back at the desk and an associate of mine flicks me an email this morning with the title “Man With No Face Offered New Hope By Medical Science”.

As it turns out, the man with no face in Portugal is a real person after all. His name is Jose Mestre and he has been a long-term resident on that corner in Lisbon for some time now.

This revelation gave me substantial pause.

It is impossible to fathom, how this human being has survived, sitting on the sidewalk…..for god knows how long, with thousands of people walking by on a daily basis –  momentarily stopping, double-taking and then….going for some serious drinking.

This news also made me ponder about how incredibly and unreasonably grumpy I have been this past week.

After all, one of my cats vomited into my shoe on Wednesday, I was double-charged for a most average ham-sandwich on Thursday, and was advised by my Dentist that I was basically in for a “Marathon Man” job on Tuesday.

All of these things pale in comparison to perhaps waking up one day and not even being ABLE to look in the mirror…because, well…one has morphed overnight into something that once resided in the bar on Tatooine.

                               ***************************

Recently, a good friend summed up successful existence to me in a very short and very apt sentence:

“Things are successful when you can laugh”.

I believe this to be profoundly true.

All the little annoying things dont add up to much at the end of the day….

If I was brutally honest with myself in reviewing the the week that was:

 I am not that fond of ham sandwiches, love my cats regardless of whatever impromptu bodily functions they may perform on my footwear and…. my dentist just happens to resemble a movie star- so there will be plenty of “distractions” during the “extractions”.

I can laugh about these things…and I need to laugh about these things. These are the moments I look at, and laugh myself silly.

I can laugh at the fact that I am a woeful driver, quite often leave my car-keys in the fridge and, on the odd occasion, walk out of a Chinese Restaurant with the wayward chopstick stuck in some embarrassing orifice. I laugh at the times when I have had underwear hanging out of my jeans-leg, and when I drank heartily from a glass of olive oil (Thinking it was Sav Blanc ….of course).

We need to laugh…we really do. We need to laugh at the small stuff.

If I ever met Jose Mestre and heard him laugh?…

I would buy the man a keg of beer..and shake his hand…..gratefully.

About the Author

Kylie is a well travelled free-lance writer who has been published in several magazines in Australia and the United States including “Honestly Woman” and “Third Coast Marketing”.

Come on in..sit down and enjoy…bring your prescription drugs if necessary.

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